Day 3: My First Love

I thought I knew what love was two times before I met Jordan. I was a silly girl.

I thought I knew what love was. But I had no idea what love was until I had been married for quite awhile. 

Now that I've been married for 5 1/2 years I know that Jordan is my first love.

Love is not some silly thing that the movies and songs tell us it is. It's not some feeling or being always happy and wanting to always be together. It's not flowers, chocolate, fancy dinners, or even physical intimacy. Those things are called romance.

Romance plays a key role in a relationship. But it is not love. Too often people confuse the two and then when the romance ends they think their relationship must end too. Which is sad. 

Love is waking up to take care of the baby, even though he's really, really, tired, so that she can have a break. 

It's working long days at a job that gets boring because he wants her to be able to stay home with the kids. 

It's being broke together and working through the problems. 

It's putting up with each others worst characteristic. 

It's making time for each other even when there is no time. 

Love is service. Love is not perfect. Love is forgiving. Love is work.

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two." 

- Louis De Bernieres

That quote was on nienie a few weeks ago and I feel like it describes my relationship with Jordan so perfectly. 

When Jordan and I were newlyweds we were so different from each other. 

We disagreed on so many things. It's actually easier to list the things we did agree on: 

1. The Gospel
2. How many children we wanted to have (6)
3. What the best flavor of ice cream is (chocolate Peanut Butter, of course!)
4. How to properly eat popcorn (like a lizard, using only your tongue)
5. Which home was the dream home (The Rust Mansion. Which was each of our favorite house before we even met! See?! It was meant to be!)

One of my favorite movies of all time is Shenandoah. There's a part of the movie where the main character is speaking at the grave of his wife (Martha) about their son (James) and daughter-in-law who his wife never got to meet. 

"You'd like her, Martha. Why, she and James are so much alike, they're just like... no... no... we were never that much alike, were we Martha? We just sorta grew alike through the years."

Jordan is my first love. 

We have served and sacrificed for each other. 

Jordan & I have grown so alike. 

We are one tree.